Friendship.

Dear Allan,

I hope you had a great summer. I didn't get a chance to write you because things got pretty hectic. I'm sorry for the delay in my response, but I know you understand that life gets busy and sometimes things have to wait. I was pretty swamped, but I'll fill you in on all the details another time!

Yesterday, the squad and I got back from our trip to the French Atlantic coast. The official reason we went there was to surf. The unofficial reason was that we all just needed a short break from our daily routines. For all of us, this year has been full of changes. From finishing our Master's degrees, starting new jobs, love, heartbreak, and just a lot going on in general. We all needed a break.
The vacation was fantastic, and I'll remember it for a long time. However, it wasn't the place we went or what we did there that made the trip meaningful. It was how strong our friendship is. And also the great new friends along the way.
As I'm sure you remember, we all met on our first day of university in the math prep course at TUM. That was almost seven years ago! Since then, our friendship—both as individuals and as a group—has evolved in many ways. In the beginning, we were a group of friends supporting each other through the extremely challenging courses at TUM. The challenges we faced during that time helped us grow together. However, as we neared the end of our first degree, we realized that university would soon come to an end. We decided to take the initiative to strengthen our friendships and make them last not just a few years, but hopefully a lifetime.

The Trust Squad was born. 

One of the main things we focused on at the start was finding a fixed date in the week when we all agreed to meet up. We now refer to it as Trust Squad Friday (TSF), and we try to make it happen every week. Good friendships need a lot of commitment and attention, or they slip between your fingers and you grow apart. TSF is our way of staying connected through all the ups and downs of life. It gives us a chance to catch up and support each other. In addition to TSF, we do a lot of other things together, like sports, DIY projects, vacations, and other activities during our free time.
What I appreciate most about this group is the genuine love and appreciation we have for each other. It's not that common these days to find a group of grown men who regularly talk about their feelings and struggles in life. The Squad has evolved from a university support group to a circle of friends and, more recently, into a chosen family.
We support each other as much as we can, even though we sometimes have different opinions and approaches to life. We push each other and cheer us on while achieving our goals or failing with all our might. We’re a security net for each other in all senses of the metaphor.
I feel like this makes our friendship stand out in a way that my other friends' groups haven't.
This is not transactional.
This is not fake.
This is not for our individual gain.
It's based on pure love and joy for each other's lives. It comes from the deepest part of our hearts, and I think we can all feel that in every interaction. This all sounds very fluffy, but I'm totally serious. Life is no joke, and hardships hit all of us. In a generation where suicide rates among men are out of this world and many of us need counseling and therapy, a supportive, loving, and open group of friends can make all the difference.

A lot of people tell me how lucky I am to have found such great friends. But to be honest, I don't think this is just luck. We put a lot of thought and effort into making this happen. We ram our heads together until someone cracks and then we stitch each other back together to form a better version of ourselves. We confront each other and hold ourselves accountable for our commitment every day.
As friends, we are unforgiving mirrors that give feedback on everything in life, no matter how shitty it can be. And it’s always okay to get this stuff reflected back because we all need it. How else should we grow when we only listen to our own stories.
You’ve met the boys and I’m pretty sure you can also feel this from an outside perspective! I don't think I ever told you this part of my backstory, but I was bullied a lot at school, had to switch schools, and it really affected me psychologically for a long time.
It always seemed like everyone had friends, but it never felt genuine to me. I only had two real friends I would really deeply connect to. My brother and Nick, who I've known my entire life. But they both lived far far away, and we're also pretty different in personality. They're still my closest friends; shoutout to 26 years boys.
When I met the Squad in university, I had a group of real peers with shared interests for the first time.
The boys are one of the best things that has happened to me in recent years. Being part of this group is one of my proudest achievements in life.

We live by our own set of values that we work and refine every single day.

Love over fear. 
Curiosity. 
Openness. 
Honesty. 
Creativity. 
Seeking discomfort.

And so many more. We try to share these values with all the people we meet, and I’m convinced it makes a small difference. I’m currently working on a list of fundamental guidelines for life that reflect these values. I might share them in a future letter.

Anyway, getting back to the trip I wanted to tell you about. When we can live these values, we often get them reflected back at us and we meet the most amazing people. Like on this trip. The stories we shared were so so personal and for me deeply meaningful. They are what life is supposed to be about. Our values create what the name of our Squad stands for: Trust. And it’s one of the best feelings that you can have in a community. Vince summarized the last evening of our surf crew and the new friends we made in a really heartwarming message on the night of our departure. I want to share this with you because I think it carries the emotions we felt very well. 

„It is mildly warm on the veranda. The shouts of drunken people echo across a sea of tents. The smell of pine trees envelops the surroundings.
A small group sits together at a wooden table. Flickering candlelight dances in their faces. There isn't much space, but no one is uncomfortable with it. Melancholic indie music whispers through the kitchen window. Nevertheless, the group is feeling good. A calm, content good. 
The vacation days have brought out the best in us. Stress is forgotten. Most other things too. Only the moment counts. Characterized by shared experiences, a newly formed friendship, and a feeling of trust.
Optimism spreads. No matter what happened before, the future will be good. As good as right now. An evening like the previous ones: weightless and warm. Yet somehow special.
If there have to be last evenings, then they should be like this.“

I really hope to meet them again soon. I already miss the Squad and our Trailerpark Foxhole Surf Crew. It’s weird being back home alone after spending so much time with them. 

I hope our friendship lasts as long as the Squad does, Allan. For a lifetime. It’s something special, you know. Sorry again for not writing back sooner. How are you doing? What is life throwing at you these days? And what is your opinion on friendship? 

I’m really looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Much love, 
Vali